Well, I haven't posted for two days. I've had the girls and I've been tired, and more to the point, CRANKY. Don't get in my way right now, that's for sure. I'm getting sick, I can seemingly not get enough sleep, and most everything annoys the hell out of me. Especially people. Unfortunately, this means that my daughters and boyfriend are the ones suffering my wrath most of the time. I want nothing more right now than to be left alone. It's awful, and unfair, but that's how I feel. Just stay the hell away, okay?

I have to say that I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow. I get to sit, alone, in my offifce; I plan to interect very little with my co-workers tomorrow. In fact, only two of them will be there, and we're only working a half day. Let's hope neither of them is too chatty.

Sleep over blues

Oh sweet Jesus, what have I done??? I just endured a 4-girl sleep over, which consisted of 2 seven year olds, 1 five year old, and one 4 year old. They were very well behaved, they really were, but me? I'm exhausted. And incredulous

What the hell am I thinking?

Unfortunately, at this very moment, I'm not thinking about the precious moments from the last evening and this morning, although, admitedly, there were many. No, I'm thinking that I've just extended this exhuastion by 5 years. Five years!

S...H...I...T!

Good intentions

Big deep breath -- Christmas is over.

I’m glad, and so ready to rip down the damn Christmas tree, but I have my girls this weekend so I’m going to keep it up, at least until Tuesday. (If I can stand it.)

I’m already in New Year’s resolution mode. (I mean I can’t party, so I may as well start early, right?) I’m longing to finally go through the boxes still plied up in the garage from our move in early September. I’m ready to toss out as much crap as possible. I’m ready to clean the floors and feng shui out my home. That is, if I can stay awake along enough to start. Yawn.

Holiday cheer(s)

Well, it's Christmas today and I had to pass on the eggnog & brandy, and the mimosas, and the red wine, and the seasonal beers, etc. I had to do the same last night, at the Christmas Eve get-together that I went to. And that's okay, although a bit annoying because I'm not yet feeling so crappy that I don't want to partake in the festive libations. They still look, and smell, and yes, even taste, delicious.

You see, my plan is to not let anyone know I am pregnant (other than the baby's father) until I know that the baby is healthy. And then the plan is to tell my children first. You see, I'm 40, so there is more than a chance that this pregnancy could end in a miscarriage, or in a termination if the wee fetus has major health problems. (Yes, all of you who cannot abide by pregnancy termination of any kind should stop reading right now, we don't agree, and I'm not going to apologize for it.) So, because I DO like to drink socially, and all my friends know this fact, I've been pretending to drink. Which I'm finding is impossible to do completely successfully. You end up taking a few sips here and there during the holiday toasts and impromptu raising of glasses. Maybe this means I'm already a terrible parent, but it still does taste good, and we're talking a few sips, and I just don't want to give it away. Judge if you will.

Who did what?

Well I'm obviously loosing my mind, as is the father of this baby to be.

Maybe it's just that Christmas is so close and I/we still have tasks left undone? Probably not. Today I bought tampons (can you say denial??) and he, who is a sharp dresser with a nice wardrobe, wore two different shoes to the mall to meet his best friend for their annual get-drunk-while-Christmas-shopping spree. (Mind you, he was still sober when he got dressed.)

Okay, I admit, one benefit to the whole pregnancy deal is the lack of monthly menses. In fact, if this pregnancy and infancy are anything like my first two, I won't be breaking into that box until approximately July of 2110.

Good thing they're not perishable.....

A day late

I’m already behind...tic-tock. My bright idea hit yesterday, but I somehow didn't manage to get this posted until today. I decided yesterday that I’m going to blog about this "elderly" pregnancy of mine (hey, Beth, now that’s really original idea). But listen, listen, this does have a bit of a twist because yesterday, the day I should have fired up this new blog, because it was the very day I discovered I was pregnant, was also the day that my divorce was final.

It’s been a long time coming, my ex (I can legitimately say that now) moved out more than two years ago, but it took us a while to get our shit together and actually come to some sort of divorce agreement, and then you have that State of California mandated 6-month “cooling off period,” which ended yesterday, Sunday December 21 -- the very same day I peed on to the Clearblue Easy pregnancy test and witnessed the flashing digital hour glass change to the digital display “Pregnant.”

What are the chances of that???

Slim to none.

And how the hell do I feel about it? Well, I have to say that I’m more than a little miffed that I can’t uncork the Champagne that I’ve been saving for just this occasion. And I’m feeling a bit slighted that now that I’m single I’m going to be drooling on my desk during my unplanned naps at work, and feeling sick most of the time for the foreseeable future.

That so does NOT scream out sexy divorcee.